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Monday, December 24, 2007


w007 it's 1337 time this w33k

-NFS ProStreet
-Randomness
-WoW fan made movie
-Manhunt
-Driving

hmm yeah. lets go 1 by 1. lol

NFS:PS - got a 12k drifting score on Autopolis 2nd map. i still wanna get more cause it seems possible to get the bloody-15k-score. i almost went nuts at ben's house, drifting for 7 hours.

randomness - cooked up a comic strip with my friend about this below-average looking girl who was our schoolmate i saw at the arcade yesterday. laughed until i have to press on my stomach to ease the pain. mirror crack FTW!

wow fan made movie - tales of the past I, II, III. legendary. you guys must watch one day although you guys are no wow players lol.

manhunt - at last for 5 months, that 3 discs had been staying at my computer table until today i went to install it. fun to kill people with plastic bags and small glass shards. w007.

driving - haven't got to take the basic theory test, i am already having a small practical test from a friend who is a respectable driver. was fun, especially on my birthday =).

out of topic - VECTORS. maya should know this very well. i continued a flaming war against vector with jasper, maya and some other random people on the forums for the shiok of it. it's like a long time since i had this kind of 'internet war' with other people. FUN. feels like a mage has seen an enemy; some asshole decide to brag about everything, casting a spell; thinking of what to flame the idiot, fire the spell at enemy; POST REPLY. w007 1337 w33k. lol ok im tired. gonna go slp soon lol. 6.30am G_G

-=[ICE]=-


.CooL.6:18 AM

Sunday, December 16, 2007


her:"what should i do to make you understand?"

well these words aren't for me by BSG, but for another guy, who has the same intention as me.

every girl feels happy when some guy treats her sweet, sends her flowers on her birthday. god damn i wish that person was me, giving flowers not only on special occasion, but randomly, just to see her smile, makes me fly to heaven.

fact is, just by seeing you at the bus stop months ago and getting your number, was one of the things which i will never regret in life. never.

her :".. but just that i dun wan to get into relationship."
me:"mm scared the same thing would happen again?"
her:"hmm.. just no feelings for any guys."
me:"he might never know if he can find another 1 like you, maybe thats why he confessed"
her:"im just a normal girl which can be found anywhere."

how i wish i was the he in that conversation.
it pains me to see you typing this, saying that your a nobody.
no you're not a normal girl to me, thats for sure, something happened in the past which triggered the past, reminiscing, flashing back that certain thing which i did i couldn't forget after a decade.

birthday's coming, will be hanging out with the J.A.B., the Bull3ts, the Al Pacino. these are the people which i hold loyalty and faith to. brothers and sisters to me since i got an elder brother who doesn't stay with me cause we have same mom, different dad, the only child in the family. she always encourages me when im down with family problems, school stress, etc. i hope that i can, at least, hang out with you for a day.

"Hope is such a splendid thing." -Goldman

yeah it is, absolutely, Goldman, although your dialog is stupid.

new song coming up.

-=[ICE]=-


.CooL.4:07 AM

Saturday, December 15, 2007


Having read Mr HZH's blog since his update popped up in my email, i've realised that in some ways, he's quite the exact opposite of me. Now, note that i do not know him well, and therefore, what i think of him is based on what is reflected in his blog.

I've realised that HZH likes to calculate. Alot. Even in his analogies about life, the universe, everything (COOKIES for anyone who can tell me where this reference is from. i'm serious. email/sms me by the end of the year), HZH likes to calculate. He has interesting mathematical charts about much of the stuffs he ponders about on his blog (it looks interesting to me, but i've no wish to analyze it because i'm adverse to doing too much math when i'm bored. no offence to him though, it doesn't reflect a badly written post), be it about score, or money.

Joel AKA F.E is SO different. Like, seriously totally absopositutively different. I'm a kind of person who likes to live life by the moment. That's not to say that i don't plan ahead, but only when i need to. Which doesn't happen too often, i can tell you.

Money - Let us say that i have $50 for the week. I'd usually allocate maybe 30 for the week to food, 10 for gaming, and the other 10 for any casual use. Magically, i can spend like $30 within the first day.

Amazing.

Schoolwork - Let us say that i've just received a project brief for the next 8 weeks. I spend the first week planning to do this by week 2, this by week 5, this by week 7, etc etc etc.

Then it all goes to hell.

Planning is a funny thing when you are Joel. Because i almost never follow my plans. I can spend some nights COMPLETELY unproductive. Then spend another few nights working my damned ass off (and i won't deny that it's partly because of my previous unproductiveness), although i must say that when it comes to work, i sometimes get into moods whereby i want to keep doing. And Doing. And DOING.

But perhaps it is this way of living my life, this spontaneous-ness in me (note: i may have used the word spontaneous wrongly, but who cares!), that makes me enjoy life so much. That is, when i'm not in one of my crazy moods (when i start writing sad lyrics, you know it's one of THOSE times).

Maybe that's why i enjoy fighting games so much, because rather than being able to plan for them (like in most shooting games), you'd have to play on reaction. You'd have to adapt on the spot, fight by the moment. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. In some ways, you might say that my love for fighters reflects the way i live my life.

Example time! Let's compare two scenarios:

Pulling off a full combo on any given stage in a shooter,

VS

Pulling of a picture-perfect combo against any random opponent (NOT the CPU).

In the case of the shooter, the full combo depends largely on knowing the location of the enemy, their style of attack, the order in which to kill a mob, where to place your shots for maximum effectiveness.

All this is thrown out of the window in the case of a fighter, whereby everything depends on you reacting to your opponent's reaction.

That is the beauty of fighters, and i urge gamers everywhere who have not given this genre a chance, to just try it out. You don't have to be as skilled as Match, kaqn, or Justin Wong in order to enjoy this beautiful genre. The rewards will come naturally as you take the little bit of time to learn and practice.

Believe me, the first time you pull off that pretty combo you've been learning over and over again, in a real match, on a real opponent, in reaction to what he's done against you, you will scream. Aloud or in your heart, i leave that to you. But you will scream. And cry. In the most intense feeling of satisfaction since the ubiquitous orgasm. In fact, you might call this the fighting gamer's orgasm. Such a feeling is beyond a sentence's description, and must be experienced by oneself to fully comprehend.

And now, with the above sentence, i come back to my main point: the difference between the calculated lifestyle of HZH, and my own.

In fact, what better way to illustrate this point then to read everything above?

For, insane as it is, i did not plan beforehand to type everything i did. I meant this to be purely about lifestyle differences. But look where i ended up! Digressing into my passion, my love. Truly, mine is a personality that goes in all directions.

The funny thing about this world though, is that you will never have everyone agreeing with you. And if this beautiful blog i share with 2 very close friends were instead a publicised blog, i'm sure that there will be much criticism of this rather "dangerous" way of living. I'm sure that i will be heavily criticised by much of the mainstream population.

They might regard me as childish, naive, and prone to failure. But what guarantee do they have that their lifestyle is the perfect one? By the results they achieve? Unfortunately, "result" is relative to the person who achieves it. My satifaction from perfecting that fighting game combo may result in the same satisfaction as someone else scoring full marks on an exam. But will he be able to view my satisfaction as comparative to his?

I think not. Let me give one more example.

I compare gaming to be just as beautiful a sport as soccer. But if i got a dollar for everyone who disagreed with me, i'd be the most filthy stinking rich person on this beautiful planet.

And just for the record, i will never forsake my love and my passion in exchange for results recognisable by the mainstream. Because that's who i am. That's who i love to be. And that's the way i want to stay.

This is why i hate the mainstream, and the inevitable conformity that follows being part of it. This is why i'm unique. This is why i'm me.

And i suppose, this is why i love English in a country that loves to corrupt it. And why i hate chinese (the language, not the people. i am A-OK with my race) in a country filled with it, and it's many dialects.

To quote Lady Sovereign's hit song: If you love me then thank you! If you hate me, well, fuck you!

Ok, maybe my views aren't as extreme. But LS is quite the unique person, breaking out in a genre that consists mainly of blacks (LS is white), and in a genre that consists mainly of males (LS is a GIRL, in case you didn't figure that out).

Imagine, a WHITE GIRL in the rap culture. Amazing! And truly, one to be respected. *bows in respect*

Ok, this has all been quite an insane rant, one which originated from a comparison of lifestyles. Who else would do such a thing at 5am in the morning?!

Truly, i'm me. And i love every second of it.

Have fun reading!


.CooL.5:19 AM

Sunday, December 9, 2007


ok. 3 celebrations are up for this year.

-my birthday
-Christmas
-new year

my wishlist for this year.

-new com
-new tv
-red psp
-laptop
-chiong down BTT with no problems
-iPhone
-new girlfriend

-=[ICE]=-


.CooL.9:56 PM